My motor was running and I was on the road.
With a few weeks of networking under my belt, I was getting a bit more comfortable with the process of how online dating worked. I also became less sensitive to the stigma that surrounds online dating. So, I decided to expand the scope of friends with whom I shared my online dating efforts. All of the friends I shared this with were very supportive. They were absolutely certain that I would, indeed, be able to find someone if this is really what I wanted.
What a nice show of support.
And, as an added bonus, my hopeful group of friends also reflected back to me some of their concerns.
I am a nice person
I like people and have a genuine interest in their stories.
I engage everyone.
I am empathetic caring person.
I think everyone is my friend.
My friends pointed out that while these attributes can be counted as positives most of the time, they could also play out as negatives if I wasn’t careful about how I used them. Each person, in her own caring way, gave me a suggestion or two of how to stay safe.
There were several areas they thought I should focus on:
- Develop a clear focus on what I am looking for in a potential partner
- Create a strategy of how to communicate with the potential partners.
- Streamline messaging on the dating site.
- Use Zoom or other video conferencing options to connect
- Evaluate potential daters by phone first
- Understand how meetings differ from actual dates.
- Think about precautions to take as it relates to the pandemic
Whew!
I have to say that I would have never thought of some of these things were it not for this thoughtful group. I just assumed I would get online and just jump in with both feet. No real thought involved. After some thought, I realized that my friends were right. I can be very naive sometimes. And, I was inexperienced. I certainly didn’t want someone to take advantage of me.
It had been a long time since I had dated. In full disclosure, I never really dated that much in my entire life. I have been married twice and had a long-term boyfriend or two in between. But, I really didn’t do a lot of dating to find them. I just happened upon them, started going out with them as friends and before I knew it I had a long-term relationship, lived with someone or was married to someone. I never really took the time to ponder what or exactly who I was looking for. Nor did I consider whether this particular person would actually be good for me. If the relationship was fun and seemed OK, I went with it. I admit that this method hasn’t really worked for me. As it relates to men, my “picker” is off.
But, still I wondered if all online daters consider these areas before putting themselves out there. I didn’t think so.
Nevertheless, I carefully considered the advice of my friends. Together we came up with some safety strategies that I will share in the next few posts.
At the beginning, I kept to the points pretty closely. But, as I got more into it, I bent the rules a bit. Not too far, but enough.
Rules are made to be broken….right?
Discerning Diva Dates 