Photography is truth……

…..or is it?

The photograph.

 The key element of the dating site profile…

….and the thing I dreaded the most.

I am not unattractive.

But, I am not a stunning beauty.

I am also not photogenic. 

As I searched through my extensive cache of photos, I realized that finding appropriate pictures in this collection would not be an easy task. 

I sorted through the photos…..….flyaway hair….. …..fat photos…….group pictures……..sunglasses.  ….double chin “selfies”…..

No.  None of these would do.

My online research suggested that most women doing online dating have professional pictures taken.  It’s not required.  But, this would be my competition.

I’m not photogenic. 

So, on a beautiful summer evening just before sunset, I met Gina, professional photographer, in the vineyard where I work. Professional photos here I come.

In order to have the pictures taken at the vineyard, I first had to clear the use of the space with the owner.  I really didn’t want to share my plan with him.  As I discovered and continue to find, there is a negative stigma attached to online dating.  It implies that someone is desperate to find a partner. I wasn’t desperate.  But I certainly didn’t want my employer to think that I was.  So, I told him I was working on a project in the wine industry.  Of course, he wanted to know what that was.

I’m not good at fabricating stories on the fly. So, I told him. He was very nice about it…in a stigma-influenced sort of way.

Still, I was dreading the photo shoot.  Not only am I not photogenic, I am also not a snappy dresser. I’m a jeans wearin’, sweater sportin’, Plain Jane kind of gal. I didn’t want to present myself as something else.  I have never had great confidence in my ability to pick the right outfit for the right occasion.  So, my winning strategy was to put off the decision of what to wear.  In true procrastination form, I waited until the night before the photo shoot to start looking for something to wear.

Panic set in. 

I took practically everything out of my closet and laid it out on the bed.  I mixed, matched, combined and tried on everything I had over and over again.  Finally, after several painstaking hours, I landed on 3 outfits, 2 sets of jewelry and 3 scarves that I thought would do the job. 

When we got to the vineyard, Gina reviewed and approved of my selections.  What could she do about it at this point anyway now that we were in the vineyard?  There was no turning back.

As a self-professed Plain Jane, I am also not a makeup wizard….not even close.  So, I brought some makeup with me to the shoot hoping that Gina could give me some tips.  She took one look at me and said,

“Do you have ANY makeup on?  You are VERY pale.  You will need more.” 

I handed her my very meager mixture of stuff and she did the best she could to paint me up.  She said that she hadn’t used that much.   But, I felt like one of the “red light ladies”. 

In the end, Gina and I both had a lot of fun.  We even successfully negotiated the vineyard owner making his way to our location just as I was stripping down to change outfits.  There we were right in the open in the middle of the vineyard.  Gina jumped in front of me and shielded my underwear-clad body from the owner’s gaze.  And, then there was laughter…

I walked away with my dignity.  Gina walked away with a nice bottle of Pinot Noir that we had used as a prop.  The vineyard owner walked away with a glimpse of my underwear, which honestly was no bonus.

When all was said and done, I got some great pictures.  I did feel compelled to ask Gina about how much manipulation she had to do to make me look this good.  I had been very clear that the pictures needed to look like me. 

“None.”, she said,  “You look like that.” 

Oh. 

I guess photography is truth.