The Paradox of Choice…

….in online dating…

     …..my strategy for this adventure……

         …..so many choices…….

               …..who knew?

My first assignment on this journey was to pick a dating strategy…… 

I am older. You will note that I didn’t say old.  Most of the time I feel like I am trapped in teenager-hood.  I’m not.  But, I am definitely older.

I am also retired from a professional career.  I work part time in a few local wine-tasting rooms in my area where the average age is about 25.  Unless I miraculously regress in age and perspective, I am not going to meet anyone at work.  And, we are in the middle of a pandemic.  I am not going out to a bar to find a partner, not that I would do that in a good time.  Regardless, even if I wanted to become a “bar hanger”, it is currently not an option.  The pandemic has also sorely limited my in person participation in volunteer work, another potential source.  My friends are quite supportive of my efforts.  But, this method has high potential to be awkward for all of us should a proposed relationship go awry.

The only reasonable approach seemed to be online dating.  I could sit right in my living room at home and, relatively anonymously, sort through a wide variety of men that might be interesting to meet or at least talk to.  

What could go wrong?

Only as I got into the bowels of the dating site research, did I see the first challenge. The large volume of sites that one can choose from is overwhelming.  There was something for everyone.. seniors, professionals, athletes, exercisers….. people looking for friends, a hook up, friends with benefits…..It was a bit like I feel about Las Vegas. If you can think of it, you can have it.  One would think that would be a good thing…all of these choices…….

Not so, friends. 

There was a book written on this very thing.  When people are presented with too many choices, they just don’t choose.  They walk away.

The book was not wrong.  I wanted to walk away, too. 

But, this was not an option for me.

I really wanted to do this.

….or, at least I thought I did…

I did a pretty thorough online review of the myriad of choices and solicited ideas from my group of friends.  I talked to those who had done online dating and even those who had not.  I got lots of opinions. My head was spinning.

In the end, my scientific and logical process went something like this…. 

……I wrote the names of the most popular sites on a piece of paper, got a marker, closed my eyes and placed the tip of the marker on the paper..….twice. 

I landed on eHaromy and Match.com.  

I figured it was a good place to start.

I could always change later if it doesn’t work out.

I wasn’t married to the sites, after all. 

I wasn’t married to anything.

But, we have already established that…..